A perfect life moment

It is snowing outside. From where I am sitting, I can see the grey sky releasing snow to cover the trees and ground. My sister and my "adopted" sister who is an exceedly good friend of ours has come home for the weekended. They along with my mom are curled up and reading. Kate and Chelsea reading the never ending textbooks, and mom reading a new series by the author's name Thoene. I love sitting on the livingroom floor surrounded by people I love. With the scene from outside to the house filled of the warmth of love, my moment of life is perfect. I am very thankful to have a family such as I do. The smell of dinner has awoken everyone of us, for those who have work bent their heads over their tasks hoping to finish before the treat of dinner fellowship arraives. This will be by far one of the most special evenings...I can feel it. I don't need any thing extravegant. Rather...it is the simplicity that is the most touching, just the time with each other basking in pleasent conversation around the dinner table.

college once more

The semester has started...the piling of homework is beginning. Old friends are found again, and new faces to befriend. Learning something new, discovering the truths, and finding more of who I am. It won't be easy, there won't be much time for my family and I to spend time with each other. Except on monday nights and sundays, I'll barely see my friends. But I am happy though I know the sacrifice. I know where I belong...I am home. This is where God is calling me and I am home.

Friends

Amazing. How one touch can make your day seem a little less lonely. A smile encourages you to keep going. An encouraging word you felt you could live. Words...touches...glances they're much powerful then one often thinks.


Friends. How often friends are underrated. They shape and form our lives in ways we never imagine. Friends...meaning at least one portion of your life is vulnerable. In order to have friends you must step outside of yourself and give something of yourself to them. Sometimes we get burn because we hastily give our hearts away. Other times we're too guarded...and end up losing them. Friends can make or break your relationship to others, if you let them. They can determined your outlook on life. Sometimes especially younger people they listen to their peers as if they have the wisdom. And sometimes they do have the wisdom. Over the years I have reliezed just how important friends are...

Friends are not to take the place of parents or God. But rather help you along in your journey in Christ. Friends must tell the truth (tactfully if they can) when God tells them to. I consider true friends when they have seen at your best and at your worst, yet they love and like because they understand that we are all human.


Please, don't say friends are unimportant. They are. Don't say that you don't matter, because to God you do. To at least one person in the world you are a friend and to that person you matter.

Quiet Peace

There are times, where I just have to shove everything aside. Take just 5 minutes to take a deep breath. Look outside at the sky. School calls, but my heart yearns. For something more than just school more than what books can offer. I'm surrounded by people, but none reaches my inner heart. I'm alone...but not quite. Of all the times I've desire to walk a soft slow walk, my head has bent over my work. So I have learned somtimes it is best to leave and go. Somewhere where my heart is. Where no one else can touch, beacuse it is mine alone to share. The place where I am truly happy and content. Though my body can not take those walks I've yearned for, my heart has soared gently to the One who has captured my heart long ago.
All my tears are nothing compared to His. My joy can't possible matched to His delight. He know me better than anyone even myself.

As of this moment it is 10:42 at night. To my surprise, I am not yet tired. Although in truthfulness, I ought to be exhausted. College has been a challenged in many ways. The majority of it consist of 4 major things:

The first, fighting for the time to be with my Dad. There are rarely any free time, no I have to make time. This semester like all my life, I have had to rely heavily on His strength. Reminding myself why I am going to College.

The second, was being away from my parents. My mom and I have grown very close since Kate went away to college. In fact there was rarely a day that we did not spent time with each other. She is one of my dearest and best friends. I spent long hours at Pellissippi and often came home with an armful of homework with time only to do chores and dinner. The rest of my free time was taken by drama and voice. For a little bit, I had grown afraid that I'd lose that special friendship mom and I had developed over the year and half. If anything, it got stronger. Since I could not see her and Dad as often as I'd like, I was always hungry for the sight of them.

The Third, making friends is not always easy. Being Pellissippi often had me make friends or at least be friendly whether I wanted to or not. In fact, except for my last year of high school, I have made more friends in college than almost anywhere else. I have stepped multiple times out of my comfort zone in order to make a friend. I am glad I was able to take the opportunity God gave me.

The forth was perhaps other than trying to find time with God was the most difficult. I was disliking Pellissippi heavily in the beginning. I felt overwhelm, and had no time to spend with my parent or just to get my breathe. To tell the truth, I had thought of throwing it away, leaving it unfinished, and go be with my family. But I believed had I done that, I would have been struggling harder than if I kept going. I had fought so hard just to get into Pellissippi, I was not going to end the semester without fight...if nothing else I can say I gave it my all and I do not quite something without careful consideration.

Though everything I have said, I have pretty much said one thing. Rely On God. That's the only way you can make it through anything. If you need to rant to Him, my goodness rant to Him. He already know what you're thinking anyways. Just don't forget to thank Him either even for the bad choice you make. Because for every wrong choice you make, you learn. He is always there, just sometimes we can't always feel Him. That's where faith and grace come in. One last thing before I say good night. Give grace to yourself so you can extend grace to others. The worst person to beat up on yourself is you. In others words...people can criticize you, but in the end it is you who allows the critique to be effective.

Another story, one we've all heard before, but maybe different side

Have you ever read something that you get one side of the story? That side was the only one you've heard all your life and soon you believe there is nothing else new in that story? I am beginning to learn, even year after you study the scriptures or a particular story there's usually always another side.

If you do not mind, I'd love to invite you to an old, old story. One even the littlest child has probably heard. It's the story of the Lost sheep. Please, join me as I write out the story.

Now the tax collectors and the "sinners" were all getting around to hear him. But the Phariseees and the teachers of the law muttered, "This man welcomes sinners and eats with them"

Then Jesus told them this parable: Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. THen he calls his friends and neighbors together and says 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.' I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety- nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.

Luke 15

I have been told many times the story up to a point. So many times I have been told " The shepherd rejoiced over the 1 lost sheep over the ninety- nine who were not lost," I believe it be true.

If just one person accepts Jesus Christ, there is GREAT rejoicing in heaven. Trumpets are probably blown, angels shouts, and I have this vision of God actually getting up and dancing. I'll have to ask Him if He really does do that, but I think He does. God rejoices over just one sinner who come accepts Jesus Christ over the ninety-nine.

Here what I am trying to get to. Please take note of the beginning of the scripture and the very last sentence. Now the tax collectors and the "sinners" were all getting around to hear him. But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, "This man welcomes sinners and eats with them" The last sentence, I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety- nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.

Do you see the connection? The Pharisees and the teacher's of the law were in that parable. The verse states "...There will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents over ninety-nine righteous persons who do need to repent. That one person accepted Jesus who is grace. He was free to live, a clean slate wiped to start over. The ninety- nine (pharisees) who did not need to repent , there were no rejoicing over.

I don't know what to write really. My mind is musing over many things. Over responsibilities I must do and over the things I must study. Right now, all I want is to mull over thoughts aimless thoughts perhaps. Just write even if its not important.

Have you ever noticed the blue sky? Just stare at it, how in the middle of the sky it is the bluest. Toward the ends no matter which directions you look, north, east, west, or south it fades to the palest blue or grey? Did you ever wonder why God made the sky blue?

I love listening. To me listening is not granted to you, listening...hearing is a privilege. the rain drops falling on rooftops. The wind singing as it twirls around me. Birds twittering their glad songs. My mom telling me "She is glad that I'm hers and she loves me" My Dad saying "I'm proud of you" My sibling laughter. Most of all...I hear my Beloved voice.

Of late I've been pondering grace. How I long to get it! No matter how hard I've tried it doesn't seem that I have even grasp what grace is. My Pastor has preach for many a weeks now on the subject of grace. Yet, it seems I can hardly get it. I want to. Grace? What is Grace? How do you receive grace? Well...I know for a fact with faith come grace and from grace comes healing. Jesus and Grace goes together, they can not be separated. Jesus is grace. Who is Jesus? The Son of God. The son of God? He is life. Grace... freedom. The ability to be free. Grace is the opposite of Legalistic. There's no list to make with Grace. Grace? For a five letter word grace gives a much deeper meaning than it appears.

Mercy...to forgive. Extended grace...to be saved or to save. Does mercy go with grace? My mind is wandering. I want to get so much what my Pastor is excited...no thrilled about! I long to understand. I pray that I may grasp the understanding of grace fully.

Forgive me if my writing is barely readable . My fingers have longed wanted to write, and my heart is heavy and yet light. Sometimes it is good to let random pondering thoughts peek out through the busy seasons. I hope next time my thoughts will be more organized, but tonight I just had to share.