Can't believe its the last week. Blessedly, when I arrive home I'll have my hands full. I can't stand being idle. Already, projects awaits me and I am eagerly looking foreword to them. One of my friends will be joining for part of a week and possible two others will be joining later that week. At least that is what I am praying for. We will see.
So excited about this week. I have been working my fingers to the bone working on the staff presentation. Not going to lie the first two days I have been stressed and could hardly find my smile. It seemed to have completely vanished, but it was so strange. Although I have been overwrought and felt as if I was sinking, this week has been one of the best week of my alone time. It has been one of the sweetest times...
This week alone I've probably put in easily 27 hours on the presention...in only three days. Guess what its only 30 minutes long! But I have learned so much in doing this and I'd do it again. By this time tomorrow hopefully I will finished the thing so I can be with people and enjoy the last remaining hours.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Monday, August 6, 2012
The blind beggers
1. Then they came to Jericho. And as He was leaving Jericho with His disciples and a large crowd, a blind beggar named Bartimaeus, the son of Timaeus, was sitting by the road.
When he heard that it was Jesus the Nazarene, he began to cry out and say, "Jesus, Son of David have mercy on me!"
Many where sternly telling him to be quiet, but he kept crying out all the more, "son of David, have mercy on me!"
And Jesus stopped and said "call him here" So they called the blind man, saying to him, "Take courage, stand up! He is calling for you,"
Throwing aside his cloak, he jumped up and came to Jesus.
And answering him, Jesus said, "What do you want Me to do for you?" and the blind man said to him, "Rabboni, I want to regain my sight!"
And Jesus said to him, "Go, your faith has made you well," Immediately he regained his sight and began to follow Him on the road.
Mark 10:46-52
2. As they were leaving Jericho, a large crowd followed Him.
And two blind men sitting by the road, hearing that Jesus was passing by, cried out, "Lord, have mercy on us, Son of David!"
The crowd sternly told them to be quiet, but they cried out all the more, "Lord, Son of David, have mercy on Us!
And Jesus stopped and called them, and said, "What do you want Me to do for you?"
They said to Him, "Lord, we want our eyes to be opened,"
Moved with compassion, Jesus touched their eyes; and immediately they regained their sight and followed Him.
Matthew 20:29-34
3. As Jesus was approaching Jericho, a blind man was sitting by the road begging.
Now hearing the crowd going by, he began to inquire what this was.
They told him that Jesus of Nazareth was passing by.
And he called out saying, "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!"
Those who led the way were sternly telling him to be quiet; but he kept crying out all the more. "Son of David have mercy on me!"
And Jesus stopped and commanded that he be brought to Him; and when he came near, He questioned him,
"What do you want Me to do for you?" and he said, "Lord, I want to regain my sight!"
And Jesus said to him, "Receive your sight; your faith has made you well,"
Immediately he regained his sight and began following Him, glorifying God; and when all the people saw it, they gave praise to God.
Luke 18:35-43
I'll leave you to discover for yourself the exquisiteness of similarity of these three passages. Praying that you find the jewels as I did and even more.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Live simply
Living simply is surprisingly hard to do...at first. It is a constant battle to live this way. Especially as you grow older. I hear all this TV programs and advertisement mocking "growing old". What is wrong with that? I have found that older people are rather just "beginning" their lives. They have wisdom and grace and have more adventures than they can sometimes handle. But this isn't what this post is about, although I will write a post of adventure and you can be sure that it will be the age of 40 something and above that I will direct my attention too. Like I said, my own personal watching people has told me that life happens when someone is seasoned with age...it comes with humility and grace.
I recently spoiled myself and brought a ring. Unfortunately it was too big for my middle finger as I later found out. I hate it when that happens, but then you have to roll with the punches and find something creative to do with the too big or too small object. But this ring means something in fact it was hanging in my car to remind me almost daily. "Live Simply"
That I think is a very important lesson to learn. There are two types of groups children and well the elderly. I direct my attention to the latter in this post. I love...I love elderly people. I love their winkles, I love the twinkle in their eyes, and I love the lessons I can learn from . I love the fact they've learned to watch the world go by and just live simply. My favorite image I have every seen has been a couple in their 80s or 90's holding hands, sitting on the bench, and just watching people go by. I love their kiss to each other and I loved their smiles. When I grow old and my hair turns white I hope I still remember this couple. Though I only saw them for a brief period of time, they have impacted my life in way they don't know. The picture they painted was clear...Live Simply or translated it into Live Life Well.
I recently spoiled myself and brought a ring. Unfortunately it was too big for my middle finger as I later found out. I hate it when that happens, but then you have to roll with the punches and find something creative to do with the too big or too small object. But this ring means something in fact it was hanging in my car to remind me almost daily. "Live Simply"
That I think is a very important lesson to learn. There are two types of groups children and well the elderly. I direct my attention to the latter in this post. I love...I love elderly people. I love their winkles, I love the twinkle in their eyes, and I love the lessons I can learn from . I love the fact they've learned to watch the world go by and just live simply. My favorite image I have every seen has been a couple in their 80s or 90's holding hands, sitting on the bench, and just watching people go by. I love their kiss to each other and I loved their smiles. When I grow old and my hair turns white I hope I still remember this couple. Though I only saw them for a brief period of time, they have impacted my life in way they don't know. The picture they painted was clear...Live Simply or translated it into Live Life Well.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Not to us...Not to us
To be honest, I shouldn't be on here. I *should* be doing my slideshows and really focusing on those since time is so short. But sometimes, the most important thing is to simply reevaluate or readjust my lens as to why I am here. And I've chosen this outlet.
These days ever since Saturday night, a heavy...heavy weariness has completely taken over my body. Step by step literally every day I take with a sob on my lips "God give me Your strength." For the first time last night before night duty, I could do nothing but lay on my bed too exhausted to close my eyes or even cry. I felt sick.
Some might say... the honeymoon is over. Yet, from the beginning this has been no honeymoon...not even close. I never expected it to be. Except in one way.
God gave me this word at the beginning of this year. "I am going to romance you and we're going to grow close together." He has kept His Word. Never, once has He told me it would be easy. But He has tenderly taught me and tenderly held me. Even now in my exhuastedness and stripped bare, He is moving within me. I know although I can hardly feel him.
I choose to move. I choose to hold my head up high. I choose over my own feelings, over my own bodily strength, over my own limitations to rise up with a smile and love people and do what I can to serve. It.Is.Hard. But worth it.
Lately, I've had to shove down the irritations of people thinking all I do is walk around and take photos. It is so frustrating and IF I allow it Satan could have my lunch. The second irritations is persuading people to let me take their photographs, I've gotten to the point of my flesh getting ready to say...fine. Then I won't and you won't be shown in the presentation. I am so sorry you think so little of yourself that you don't think you're worthy to be photograph. Indeed he has tempted me sorely. While that may be true, it isn't necessary and it isn't kind. Thank God that He has held my tongue up until now. And I have debated whether or not to keep this paragraph. It is hard to keep it, and I want so very much to delete it. But for some reason I can't seem to.
One of the hardest lessons I have learned here is not to compare my work ethics to others. My work is different than others, but the reasoning behind the work is the same. We're here because God called us to love and to serve no matter what our jobs are. If I do what God tells me to do...no less....AND no more...than I am obedient. What? You say. No more? Yes...no more. God has placed specific jobs with specific amount of time span and specific energy. If I get in the way then I am in a sense competing for glory. It is for His glory...not for my own.
When He spoke to me in which He also had me speak and pray yesterday in the sharing time, He gave me scriptures. Pay close attention to them. I think you'll find a running theme.
Psalm 121
I will life up my eyes to the mountains
From where shall my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
Who made the heaven and earth.
He will not allow your foot to slip;
He who keeps you will not slumber,
Behold, He who keeps Israel
Will neither slumber nor Sleep
The Lord is your keep;
The Lord is your shade on your right hand.
The sun will not smite you by day
nor the moon by night
The Lord will protect you from all evil
He will keep your soul.
The Lord will guard your going out and your coming in
From this time forth and forever
Psalm 116: 1-7
I love the Lord, because He hears
My voice and my supplications
Because He has inclined His ear to me.
Therefore I shall call upon Him as long as I live
The cords of death encompassed me
and the terrors of Shoal came upon me;
I found distress and sorrow.
Then I called upon the name of the Lord;
"O lord, I beseech You, save my life!"
Gracious is the Lord, and righteous;
Yes, our God is compassionate
The Lord preserves the simple;
I was brought low; and He saved me.
Return to your rest, O my soul
For the Lord has dealt bountifully with you.
Psalms 115
Not to us O Lord, Not to us
but to your name be the glory
because of your lovingkindness, because of your truth.
Let me highlight that last scripture. Not to us...Not to us. But to His name be the glory. His name be the glory forever more, Amen.
These days ever since Saturday night, a heavy...heavy weariness has completely taken over my body. Step by step literally every day I take with a sob on my lips "God give me Your strength." For the first time last night before night duty, I could do nothing but lay on my bed too exhausted to close my eyes or even cry. I felt sick.
Some might say... the honeymoon is over. Yet, from the beginning this has been no honeymoon...not even close. I never expected it to be. Except in one way.
God gave me this word at the beginning of this year. "I am going to romance you and we're going to grow close together." He has kept His Word. Never, once has He told me it would be easy. But He has tenderly taught me and tenderly held me. Even now in my exhuastedness and stripped bare, He is moving within me. I know although I can hardly feel him.
I choose to move. I choose to hold my head up high. I choose over my own feelings, over my own bodily strength, over my own limitations to rise up with a smile and love people and do what I can to serve. It.Is.Hard. But worth it.
Lately, I've had to shove down the irritations of people thinking all I do is walk around and take photos. It is so frustrating and IF I allow it Satan could have my lunch. The second irritations is persuading people to let me take their photographs, I've gotten to the point of my flesh getting ready to say...fine. Then I won't and you won't be shown in the presentation. I am so sorry you think so little of yourself that you don't think you're worthy to be photograph. Indeed he has tempted me sorely. While that may be true, it isn't necessary and it isn't kind. Thank God that He has held my tongue up until now. And I have debated whether or not to keep this paragraph. It is hard to keep it, and I want so very much to delete it. But for some reason I can't seem to.
One of the hardest lessons I have learned here is not to compare my work ethics to others. My work is different than others, but the reasoning behind the work is the same. We're here because God called us to love and to serve no matter what our jobs are. If I do what God tells me to do...no less....AND no more...than I am obedient. What? You say. No more? Yes...no more. God has placed specific jobs with specific amount of time span and specific energy. If I get in the way then I am in a sense competing for glory. It is for His glory...not for my own.
When He spoke to me in which He also had me speak and pray yesterday in the sharing time, He gave me scriptures. Pay close attention to them. I think you'll find a running theme.
Psalm 121
I will life up my eyes to the mountains
From where shall my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
Who made the heaven and earth.
He will not allow your foot to slip;
He who keeps you will not slumber,
Behold, He who keeps Israel
Will neither slumber nor Sleep
The Lord is your keep;
The Lord is your shade on your right hand.
The sun will not smite you by day
nor the moon by night
The Lord will protect you from all evil
He will keep your soul.
The Lord will guard your going out and your coming in
From this time forth and forever
Psalm 116: 1-7
I love the Lord, because He hears
My voice and my supplications
Because He has inclined His ear to me.
Therefore I shall call upon Him as long as I live
The cords of death encompassed me
and the terrors of Shoal came upon me;
I found distress and sorrow.
Then I called upon the name of the Lord;
"O lord, I beseech You, save my life!"
Gracious is the Lord, and righteous;
Yes, our God is compassionate
The Lord preserves the simple;
I was brought low; and He saved me.
Return to your rest, O my soul
For the Lord has dealt bountifully with you.
Psalms 115
Not to us O Lord, Not to us
but to your name be the glory
because of your lovingkindness, because of your truth.
Let me highlight that last scripture. Not to us...Not to us. But to His name be the glory. His name be the glory forever more, Amen.
Friday, July 6, 2012
My heart...My soul
How does a girl work on her business when working on a mission field? How does a girl keep her own education up in photography? How does a girl raise money for her next education in her second degree in cosmology when she's literally not working a "real" job? How does a girl keep clean when she is worked to the bone from 6 in the A.M to 12 in the P.M. Most importantly of all...how on earth does a girl LOSE her phone! The only thing next to God personally waking her up that will get her up on time...nearly without fail. Perhaps the most important question should be asked...why is she speaking in the third person...
I have zero idea. Perhaps it is because I am thriving on a mere five hour of sleep or if you prefer 35 hours of sleep this week alone. That's roughly 6 hours of sleep each night. I'd take a nap, but my body is too over worked for that. I laugh...it is nearly the only thing that is keeping me sane at this moment. It is either that or cry...and I'm in a roomful of boys at the moment. I'd prefer to keep my pride...what's left of it.
Here's a thing. I came here to serve...to Doe River that is. To serve as God sees fit. Boy...you give Him the reigns and He'll really take you off. Every time I've wanted to say no or wanted to complain...I've remembered. I haven't come here for comforts, and I most certainly didn't come here to be served. I have given him my heart a long, long time ago...meaning my comfort zone went out the window eons ago or so it seems.
One of the things I never expected is the constant questions of my hearing. The constant question of what is it like. Frankly, after the forth week I have gotten a little annoyed. I couldn't seem to wrap my mind around the fact that this IS normal to me, but it isn't to others. For whatever reasons, God knows why I didn't think my challenges were anything to be proud of. I've simply lived. He is my hearing, He is my breathing, He is my spine, He is my mouth. In short He is my everything. I can't seem to wrap my mind around how anyone can not not be in love with Him. It is life to me. But then He gently reminds me...not everyone has lived the life I have. Not everyone understands what it means to rely in and on Him in the precise way that I do. Here, I've looked out every morning. Every morning to see the mountains...to see the people He's created. How can I have learned to love in such a short amount of time this people here? How can I leave...knowing I'll not come back? Perhaps for a visit...but not to work here again. How can I leave the friends I've made...perhaps for life. By God's grace.
He gives and He takes away. The rhythmic beating of that song pounds within my heart. A mere 5 weeks remains. I don't want to leave. Because I know some of these friends I may never ever see again. My heart hurts. But I'll survive. He gives and He takes away. After all the four girls my age, did He not provide me...over the 11 years of being at my church. He took them away only to provide some time later after a season of crying my heart out simply out of the aching loneliness of having no girls to relate to. I've learned to let people go...it isn't easy. It'll be a life lesson I'll have to learn over and over. But every time a friend leaves, the truest friend is always, always there.
My God is for me. My God is Here. My God is My God. To Him I'll run, to Him I'll cry, to Him I'll laugh, and to Him I'll dance, to Him I'll give my body, to Him I'll give my soul, and to Him I'll give my heart.
I have zero idea. Perhaps it is because I am thriving on a mere five hour of sleep or if you prefer 35 hours of sleep this week alone. That's roughly 6 hours of sleep each night. I'd take a nap, but my body is too over worked for that. I laugh...it is nearly the only thing that is keeping me sane at this moment. It is either that or cry...and I'm in a roomful of boys at the moment. I'd prefer to keep my pride...what's left of it.
Here's a thing. I came here to serve...to Doe River that is. To serve as God sees fit. Boy...you give Him the reigns and He'll really take you off. Every time I've wanted to say no or wanted to complain...I've remembered. I haven't come here for comforts, and I most certainly didn't come here to be served. I have given him my heart a long, long time ago...meaning my comfort zone went out the window eons ago or so it seems.
One of the things I never expected is the constant questions of my hearing. The constant question of what is it like. Frankly, after the forth week I have gotten a little annoyed. I couldn't seem to wrap my mind around the fact that this IS normal to me, but it isn't to others. For whatever reasons, God knows why I didn't think my challenges were anything to be proud of. I've simply lived. He is my hearing, He is my breathing, He is my spine, He is my mouth. In short He is my everything. I can't seem to wrap my mind around how anyone can not not be in love with Him. It is life to me. But then He gently reminds me...not everyone has lived the life I have. Not everyone understands what it means to rely in and on Him in the precise way that I do. Here, I've looked out every morning. Every morning to see the mountains...to see the people He's created. How can I have learned to love in such a short amount of time this people here? How can I leave...knowing I'll not come back? Perhaps for a visit...but not to work here again. How can I leave the friends I've made...perhaps for life. By God's grace.
He gives and He takes away. The rhythmic beating of that song pounds within my heart. A mere 5 weeks remains. I don't want to leave. Because I know some of these friends I may never ever see again. My heart hurts. But I'll survive. He gives and He takes away. After all the four girls my age, did He not provide me...over the 11 years of being at my church. He took them away only to provide some time later after a season of crying my heart out simply out of the aching loneliness of having no girls to relate to. I've learned to let people go...it isn't easy. It'll be a life lesson I'll have to learn over and over. But every time a friend leaves, the truest friend is always, always there.
My God is for me. My God is Here. My God is My God. To Him I'll run, to Him I'll cry, to Him I'll laugh, and to Him I'll dance, to Him I'll give my body, to Him I'll give my soul, and to Him I'll give my heart.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Be still, please just be
Just be still, please just be
See what God has created
Just be still, please just be
Closing my eyes I see
A torn veil
Bloody Nails
A heart once dead now alive
Tilting my head, I hear
Songs sung by creations near
Music rustled on by wind
An orchestra made to worship
Just be still, please just be
He comes when least expected
Never late, rarely early, always on time 1
Full of surprises and of humor
A twinkle in His eyes
As He presents
His gift
A gift I can't compare or give back
Tear stained cheeks trembling hands
A life given, a life reborn
The gift received in belief
Be still, please just be
Discover Him who loves
Live a graced filled life
Oh, be still, please just be.
Christina Damron
06-24-12
1.quote by Terry Maughon
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
A month and half complete
So I have nearly been here for officially a month. What I have learned I cannot even tell everything, because I simply won't ever know how everything has effected me. But this I know. Camp has made a rebel of me. I have found excitement of "living on my own". Moreover, just being with people my own age has opened a whole new world to me.
Someone once told me " Expand your horizon". And so I have followed that advice. I have also just let myself be...
With me being so tired all the time, that means I am slap happy a LOT. Which means I am usually a lot more fun and crack people up with laughter. Which is cool. But it only happens with about four to five people.
I work a lot in the evenings in the gift shop which is awesome. I love it so much. The lady who runs it is such a blessing. Working in the outfitter shop gives me relief from my other work.
Photography is going well. I've had so many difficulties and to be frank there's been once or twice I've wanted to throw the laptops against the wall and break down crying. But I didn't and I haven't broken down crying. I gave it to God and He's been so good to me. I am so blessed. I can not wait to tell my family back home of how insufficient of supplies I had and God provided what I need. This week I have two slideshows back to back literally. One slideshow on Friday and then the next day another. But...I'm not sweating. Not yet. God's given me the songs...just got to purchase them and transfer. One of them is half way finished. I'm so excited, but also feel both confident and inadequate at the same time. An odd combination, but it makes perfect sense to me.
I must fly. There's so much to do. I kid you not, it's taken me two weeks to write this much. But on a good note, I think I've gotten my videos up to par now. Yeah. SO...they'll be coming along soon! They're much faster to put up and make. :)
Someone once told me " Expand your horizon". And so I have followed that advice. I have also just let myself be...
With me being so tired all the time, that means I am slap happy a LOT. Which means I am usually a lot more fun and crack people up with laughter. Which is cool. But it only happens with about four to five people.
I work a lot in the evenings in the gift shop which is awesome. I love it so much. The lady who runs it is such a blessing. Working in the outfitter shop gives me relief from my other work.
Photography is going well. I've had so many difficulties and to be frank there's been once or twice I've wanted to throw the laptops against the wall and break down crying. But I didn't and I haven't broken down crying. I gave it to God and He's been so good to me. I am so blessed. I can not wait to tell my family back home of how insufficient of supplies I had and God provided what I need. This week I have two slideshows back to back literally. One slideshow on Friday and then the next day another. But...I'm not sweating. Not yet. God's given me the songs...just got to purchase them and transfer. One of them is half way finished. I'm so excited, but also feel both confident and inadequate at the same time. An odd combination, but it makes perfect sense to me.
I must fly. There's so much to do. I kid you not, it's taken me two weeks to write this much. But on a good note, I think I've gotten my videos up to par now. Yeah. SO...they'll be coming along soon! They're much faster to put up and make. :)
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