Quiet Peace

There are times, where I just have to shove everything aside. Take just 5 minutes to take a deep breath. Look outside at the sky. School calls, but my heart yearns. For something more than just school more than what books can offer. I'm surrounded by people, but none reaches my inner heart. I'm alone...but not quite. Of all the times I've desire to walk a soft slow walk, my head has bent over my work. So I have learned somtimes it is best to leave and go. Somewhere where my heart is. Where no one else can touch, beacuse it is mine alone to share. The place where I am truly happy and content. Though my body can not take those walks I've yearned for, my heart has soared gently to the One who has captured my heart long ago.
All my tears are nothing compared to His. My joy can't possible matched to His delight. He know me better than anyone even myself.

As of this moment it is 10:42 at night. To my surprise, I am not yet tired. Although in truthfulness, I ought to be exhausted. College has been a challenged in many ways. The majority of it consist of 4 major things:

The first, fighting for the time to be with my Dad. There are rarely any free time, no I have to make time. This semester like all my life, I have had to rely heavily on His strength. Reminding myself why I am going to College.

The second, was being away from my parents. My mom and I have grown very close since Kate went away to college. In fact there was rarely a day that we did not spent time with each other. She is one of my dearest and best friends. I spent long hours at Pellissippi and often came home with an armful of homework with time only to do chores and dinner. The rest of my free time was taken by drama and voice. For a little bit, I had grown afraid that I'd lose that special friendship mom and I had developed over the year and half. If anything, it got stronger. Since I could not see her and Dad as often as I'd like, I was always hungry for the sight of them.

The Third, making friends is not always easy. Being Pellissippi often had me make friends or at least be friendly whether I wanted to or not. In fact, except for my last year of high school, I have made more friends in college than almost anywhere else. I have stepped multiple times out of my comfort zone in order to make a friend. I am glad I was able to take the opportunity God gave me.

The forth was perhaps other than trying to find time with God was the most difficult. I was disliking Pellissippi heavily in the beginning. I felt overwhelm, and had no time to spend with my parent or just to get my breathe. To tell the truth, I had thought of throwing it away, leaving it unfinished, and go be with my family. But I believed had I done that, I would have been struggling harder than if I kept going. I had fought so hard just to get into Pellissippi, I was not going to end the semester without fight...if nothing else I can say I gave it my all and I do not quite something without careful consideration.

Though everything I have said, I have pretty much said one thing. Rely On God. That's the only way you can make it through anything. If you need to rant to Him, my goodness rant to Him. He already know what you're thinking anyways. Just don't forget to thank Him either even for the bad choice you make. Because for every wrong choice you make, you learn. He is always there, just sometimes we can't always feel Him. That's where faith and grace come in. One last thing before I say good night. Give grace to yourself so you can extend grace to others. The worst person to beat up on yourself is you. In others words...people can criticize you, but in the end it is you who allows the critique to be effective.