Busy, but a wonderful time

Dear friends,

In my last post, I'd said I would try to post pictures of my dear grandparents. Since my grandparents were not feeling well, I wanted to be respectful of them, at this time I will not post pictures. Perhaps when we visit them at Christmas, you can see the beauty I see in them.

Ah, this is a very, very busy season for me. Photography is very rewarding, but keeps you on your toes. I'm starting up my photography blog soon and starting to load up pictures. This semester I have taken studio plus photography II and what a trip it has been. It has prepared me and taught me so much. Next semester ( I am SO excited) I will get to do portraits. Blessedly, I have a church that might be willing to let me practice on them. Squeal! And I ask nicely, I might be able to post their pictures on my photography blog. I'm hoping I can take babies pictures...I've never taken one, let alone in a studio. Ohhh...I've got goosebumps. I'm a blessed woman indeed.

What has been happening now? It is at the end of the semester. Funny, I'm starting to get energized. God has been blessing me with joy and I pray that it keeps coming. My photographs are being printed and boy they look good. It's intresting but for once they look better printed out then on computer screen.


Physics...I am loving. Although I must admit I do get frustrated at times, because I know I can know the materials but rarely have enough time to let what I have learned sink in.  In my inner heart, I think I might have gotten proud as a peacock when I tell people I am taking physics and they look at me in surprise. I love physics...it is no harder than trying to figure out simple math equations if you take the time to truly understand it and allow yourself to enjoy it. 


English, there's not much to say there. I'm writing papers, and reading essays.  Most english classes I have taken are hard, this one was much easier than most. My professor makes me smile, and most of the time I leave class with mild homework. 


Only a couple of days left before exam week. Not to crow, but for once I am actually a week ahead. This has been hard semester, and I've barely gotten everything done on time, but this time I am ahead. That makes me extremely happy. Except for physics, and doing a paper for english, all I get to do is: show up, smile, and hand in my stuff. Then...I party.  Yes, I rather think this is a wonderful time!

Thanksgiving time

Dear friends,
This week I get to visit my dear grandparents! I am so excited. Though I must admit, sadly when I first heard of it I was not at all thrilled. My school was pressing hard on me and I felt the crunch of time breathing down my neck. Only four weeks till freedom, and I'm hanging on for dear life. Never-the-less, I should have felt excited about going. It is rare now days to get to go to VA. I love going after all it is where I was born, but this time I could care less. I knew deep inside that was wrong. One night, I laid it all out at the feet of the Father. Ever since, He has given me a desire and joy to go. Yes, I still have relatless school beating me on my back, but my grandparents are more important to me than my grades and my work. Family, where would you be without them...you wouldn't be born. I'm taking my camera this week, and in doing so I hope that I can show the prides of my heart.

You haven't met anyone until you have met my grandparents! I can brag about them, because they are mine. My granddaddy is one of the most amazing people you will ever meet. My grandma! Oh...I now know where the spunky side of my mom came from. I have great, great respect for her not just as my grandma, but as a woman. When I post pictures, I shall tell you of my favorite memories of each person.

ATTITUDE

There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, And noticed she had only three hairs on her head. 'Well,' she said, 'I think I'll braid my hair today.' So she did and she had a wonderful day. The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror And saw that she had only two hairs on her head. 'H-M-M,' she said, 'I think I'll part my hair down the middle today.' So she did and she had a grand day. The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed That she had only one hair on her head. 'Well,' she said, 'today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail.' So she did, and she had a fun, fun day. The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and Noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head. 'YAY!' she exclaimed. 'I don't have to fix my hair today!' Attitude is everything. Be kinder than necessary, For everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. Live simply, Love generously, Care deeply, Speak kindly, And pray continually. Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain. It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived. I was sent this in an e-mail from Tennessee School of Beauty. This e-mail has brought more respect for the school and I am eagerly looking foreword to the possibility of attending the school.

You can't force love

I still have much to learn. There's so many things I have yet to discover and there will be things I'll never know. But I do know...you can't force love and you can't force friendships.

Just like you can't force someone to love you, you can't force yourself into a relationship, that's not love, its more of a duty. Over the years I have pushed myself to spend time with God. That's good if when you are striving to spend time with God is out of love, not out of duty.

For years, I have done devotions and good books to help my walk with God. But that wasn't what I needed. Please do not mistake me that devotions and good books aren't good, but they shouldn't take the place of the Bible or spending time one on one with God. It is what you value that you will deem most important. For me it is because I love God, that I value Him. I don't want a forced love or a forced relationship. Guess what? Neither does God.

Relationships are crucial to our lives. Don't hem yourself with a bunch of rules or do what everyone is doing because it works for them, trust me you'll end up with nothing but a frustrated heart. I know, I have been there. Your relationship with anyone whether its a co-worker or something deeper can't be forged upon rules or based anybody else's standards, it'll collapsed when the lightening strikes hard and long. Great relationships are built on God, who is filled with love and grace. Sometimes you have to let go. Sometimes you have to hang on for dear life. Sometimes...loving someone or even yourself isn't easy. Relationships, however hard you try, are not based on just you. It takes two to have a relationship.

It is what you value in a relationship that will be deemed most important.

Major decision, Major changes

This summer...well this past year has been full of life time changes. But they are good changes. Changes that will transform my life. Never had I dreamed I'd where I am today...but then again most of us aren't where we thought we'd be today. When I was younger I longed to travel, to explore the world, and to "preach" the gospel. As I entered highschool, all that changed. I became focused and serious...putting away the carefree, outgoing girl I used to be. But I never lost my joy for simple things. Now...I am traveling the world and sharing my Beloved's message. But still...I am on the quiet side. And that's okay. There are seasons for everything.

Just recently we closed on our new home. The countdown begins as I help pack up and clean. My mom has found her love of jewel colors again, and we are happily looking to furnish our blessing home. You see, our home isn't just "our" home, its Harvest home. A place to come to be refresh, rest, and just to be.

Two days ago, I made a decision. It was tough, but I knew what had to be done. When I came home from the Netherlands I changed. While I was there, God spoke very clearly to me in many, many ways. One thing He told me was Graphic Design was no longer my major. So I came home, waiting, pondering, and listening to what He wanted me to do next. Three weeks later, I received my answer. As of right now I am a semester into being a photographer. In a year and half I will be a certified photographer with an associated degree. After which I will fulfill yet another dream...cosmology. Two skills, two certificates, and two dreams. How will I combined these two...by blessing people. I don't know what God fully has in mind...but that's okay. It'll be used for His glory.

Major decisions makes major changes. Most of them aren't easy. Many of them changes lives. But when you make that change for God...it'll be the best decision you'll ever make.

It's unlock...but what are you going to do?

There's doors, gates, keyholes, or whatever you want to call it that unlocks that most secretive parts in our hearts. The part that we rarely, if ever...really let anyone see. We sometimes don't know even know our deepest joy or pain. It hasn't been discovered yet. There's a lot we don't know about ourselves. But someone does. He knows every laugh you have ever laughed, every tear that has been shed, and every smile that crept across your face making your eyes twinkle in secretive delight. He knows you. Every core of your being is so special to Him and He wants be in the mist of all of your doings. He wants to share your delight, your sadness, your split can't stop laughing moments. Here's the kicker.

Until you open that entrance way, He can't fully enter into your life. He's not going to force His way in. You're going to have to choose. He's there for you... is not His name Emmanuel meaning God with us? That means in everything in the good, in the bad, and in the between, He's with you. But it is you who lets Him in completely. No one else can do it for you. No one can make you. It is your choice alone. God is with you, but until you let Him in your heart can you share with Him that only you and Him knows. Sometimes its scary and there's time you don't want to do it, but its worth it. But remember, only you can open that gate wide enough to let Him in. It's unlock...but what are you going to do? It's up to you.

Isn't she a beauty? I have long awaited this gifted for two years. My parents decided that when us girls were 20 that we could get a hope chest. My sister received her gift and after a year of searching she found the perfect hope chest for her. I decided I didn't want to wait that long after my birthday and started praying that I'd find my hope chest. My prayer went so far as to include this "Please God let me find a hope chest VERY soon after my birthday or better yet on my birthday. Let it be a beautiful brown color, cedar lined, absolutely beautiful and 100% perfect for me. I really, really want a lock to come with it cause you know how much I adore locks. Thank you. amen,"

Two years and roughly 10 months later. Mom decided it was time to start looking. Kate, mom and I took a look around a store, but found no hope chest. My second time out, Dad with me and mom. We stopped by a Carolina Furniture store off of Broadway and looked around. Just as we head out the store...I saw it. My Hope chest. The beautiful shinning walnut color beckoned me. I touched the lock on the outside of the sleek, clean, and yet warm chest. The smell of cedar rose to meet me and a drawer, an extra bonus of which I had not prayed for greeted me. One glance, I knew that was it. I decided to wait for a few days just to make sure that it was really it. On Thursday we stop by, I just couldn't wait any longer. So three days before my birthday we purchased it. The day of my birthday, my sweet brother lent us his van and I saw my present come home. It rests sweetly at the end of my bed, ready for hopes and dreams of a life ahead.

My sister...a Lee University Graduate

Here she is my dear friends. My best friend and sister a college graduate. Hard and yet so easy to believe four years have passed by. I have awaited this moment for years. Would you believe me, that I cried when she left for Lee. Seriously, I'd sit in her room against the wall and cry my eyes out. I'd count the days when I would see her again. Lee University though I never attended for classes, soon became a like a home to me. Every semester I'd go down there. Just me. Our traditions quickly formed. Her friends quickly accepted me and soon knew me. To them I wasn't Kate's sister, they actually called me by name. Our traditions were very rarely missed if ever. A walk around Lee and up and down the streets are precious memories. We'd laugh and take pictures, often involved in conversations or simply quiet enjoying the day we had. Always we'd finish off the day with a movie. Coffee was usually mixed in somewhere in the weekend.

This time, when I came she was graduating. We'd both say good-bye to Lee. Mom was so very gracious to let me stay with Kate one more evening before Kate would leave Lee forever as a student. I thought I'd miss my semester with her. One more opportunity came, we began the traditions one last time. After Kate took me to Baskin Robbins, (I can't recall the last time I've been to Baskin Robbins), then we walked around Lee taking pictures. Afterwards we tried to get back to the apartment we were staying at, and got locked out. So we went out to Arbys and went to Alumni Park at Lee got in a our final tradition with a new twist. We watched parts of Sabrina under a starry cold night eating warm Arby sandwiches while snuggling with our blankets. It was a perfect way to end our last evening at Lee together.

I wish I could find the words to say how much I am proud of her. She's a mentor, best friend, and most importantly my dearest sister.

A beautiful life

Today, a very dear friend got married today! I wish all the joy she and her hubby can stand. Her wedding was absolutely beautiful, the decorations very simply elegant. But what was breathtaking was the love that She and Benjamin shared. I delighted in listening to the vows they proclaimed to each other. Truly, this was a very special wedding. Lisa is stunning and to all who know her, she is very much beloved. I was glad to be a part of this special day.

Sweet life among busy times

It's hard to believe spring is almost here. The fact that the trees are blooming, the sweet presence of flowers are opening, and the lawn is starting to look like a jungle is a breath of sunshine. I LOVE mowing, it's weird I know. But there is something wonderful, be able to survey your work of freshly cut grass against a beautiful blue sky.

The painful blisters on your hands as you haul mulch and spread it across the plot you just weeded is something I'd be proud of. Not the blisters part, but the feeling of being strong...independent. Taking the time to pull out the small weeds with a sun beating on my back is not an easy task, but I welcome it. There were times the last two summers, I'd wake close to six in the morning just so I could be outside before the air got humid. My responsibility of mowing and tending the gardens I jealously guard and hate if I don't have the time.

To me...this is not just a relaxingly thing, it a way of life for me. Something that allows me to be independent, strong, and be able to produce...something beautiful for others to create.

Unlike most enjoyments I have, I a lot of times prefer to work alone. It's my time with God. But I welcome company if they come. It brings a sense of unity and family, something I dearly love.

Netherlands!

There is a song right now that is so perfect for my life is the song Where You go I go by Jesus Culture.

where you go I go
what you say I say, God
where you pray I pray
where you pray I pray
(repeat)

Verse
Jesus only did
what he saw you do
he would only say
what he heard you speak

he would only move
when he felt you lead
following your heart
following your spirit

how could I expect
to walk without you
when every move that Jesus made
was in surrender

I would not begin
to live without you
for you alone are worthy
and you are always good

you are always good
yeah...

you are always good
always good
always good
yeah, yeah yeah

Chorus

Bridge
though the world sees and soon forgets
we will not forget who you are and what you've done for us,
what you've done for us

The reason why this song means so much is because I am living this song. God has opened a huge door for me. There was an opportunity and I took it with my eyes open and diving into the deep. This summer, 6 days after I would have turned 20, I will be leaving on June 18th to go Netherlands for 3 1/2 weeks. God has renewed a passion within me to travel. I will be studying abroad, but I am also going to do my Father's will. I hadn't considered this to be even a remote possiblity of going, then one day I heard him say "GO" , sort'a out of the blue. I checked into it, and out of faith put in application. I found a scholarship and applied for it.

That night I was attacked and began fretting of no worthy consideration. I shoved everything aside and asked God to take care of it all. I reminded myself that God told me to go...all I got to do is obey and have faith. He'll take care of the rest. He WILL provide the way. I can't make it happen, He will make it happen.

Get this my dear friends, about a week later I received an e-mail the same day my Dad was turned away from a potential job, I received a scholarship for Netherlands. Talk about timing!

My God is so very good! When God tells me to do something, I don't stick my toes in to see what's like, I jump with both feet spring all the energy I've got within me. Because I do give it all or I don't do it at all. So what HE says I say, and where HE goes, I go.

Psalms 84

How lovely is your dwelling place
O Lord Almighty!
My souls years, even faints,
for the courts of the Lord;
my heart and my fleash cry out
for the living God.

Even the sparrow has found
a home,
and the swallow a nest for herself,
where she may have her young-
a place near your altars
O Lord Almighty, my King
and my God
Blessed are those who dwell
in your house;
they are every praising You

Selah

Blessed are those whose

strength is in you,

who have seat their hearts

on pilgrimage.

As they pass through the

Valley of Baca,

the make it a place of springs;

the autumn rains also cover it will pools

They go from strength to

strength,

till each appears before God

in Zion.

Hear my prayer, O Lord God

Almighty;

listen to me, O god of Jacob

Selah

Look upon our shield

O God;

look with favor on your

anointed one.

Better is one day in your

courts

than a thousand elsewhere;

I would rather be a

doorkeeper in the house

of my God

than dwell in the tents of the

wicked

For the Lord God is a sun

and shield

no good things does he

withhold

from those whose walk is

blameless.

O Lord Almighty,

blessed is the man who trusts

in you.

A perfect life moment

It is snowing outside. From where I am sitting, I can see the grey sky releasing snow to cover the trees and ground. My sister and my "adopted" sister who is an exceedly good friend of ours has come home for the weekended. They along with my mom are curled up and reading. Kate and Chelsea reading the never ending textbooks, and mom reading a new series by the author's name Thoene. I love sitting on the livingroom floor surrounded by people I love. With the scene from outside to the house filled of the warmth of love, my moment of life is perfect. I am very thankful to have a family such as I do. The smell of dinner has awoken everyone of us, for those who have work bent their heads over their tasks hoping to finish before the treat of dinner fellowship arraives. This will be by far one of the most special evenings...I can feel it. I don't need any thing extravegant. Rather...it is the simplicity that is the most touching, just the time with each other basking in pleasent conversation around the dinner table.

college once more

The semester has started...the piling of homework is beginning. Old friends are found again, and new faces to befriend. Learning something new, discovering the truths, and finding more of who I am. It won't be easy, there won't be much time for my family and I to spend time with each other. Except on monday nights and sundays, I'll barely see my friends. But I am happy though I know the sacrifice. I know where I belong...I am home. This is where God is calling me and I am home.