Getting way

Shouldn't even be on here, but I needed some sanity. Of course I'll get some come Sunday...maybe. Like a good friend of mine, I have a list as long as my arm. And like her I have pressing deadlines, and while she and I are in different seasons her's from the perspective of a mom and mine for my own life, I suspect we most likely feel "fear" or perahps uncomfortableness might be the better word for it. Still its nice have someone sharing a somewhat similar situation as I am going through at the same. Only her wisdom is definatly much more aged than mine.
I feel as if I'm going insane and sinking with no way up. Only I know there's a way up and I've just got to hang on. For.three.very.long.weeks. Sigh. I can do this. One day at a time and lots of coffee and chocolate along with the station from Pandora of Love never fails. Seems like the more I'm in the word and studying, the more focused I've become and the more I don't know how to explain it I guess be able to keep swinging my bat even when I keep striking out.
Someone recently encouraged me and at the same time reproof me. Sadly, I can't remember who it was but I've got this funny suspision it might have been my pastor. Anyways, I was encouraged to start studying the scriptures...I mean really study it. By that I mean, read it and if God speaks to stay there, possible write down, and/or just savor it. I don't pick scriptures apart very much and that's bad. But my one fear I have discovered is when I pick apart the scriptures, will I lost sight of the big picture? In other words, major in the minors and minor in the major. I can't live with that fear. It's keeping me from delicious, sweet secretes which could have been mine long ago. Plus my God is big and faithful, should I steer away from the big picture than He'll guide me back. Teaching me what is the correct way of looking at the scriptures.
Another things is I've become more what's the word I want to use? Cautious? I don't think it's what I am trying to describe, but it'll have to do for now. I don't just take any one's word  all the time anymore, when it comes to the scriptures. More and more I'm finding I'm searching out the context myself and figure out what is being said is really true. Now, please don't mistake what I said above that I don't trust anyone. Far from it! Rather, I am learning to start searching things out for myself. I think it is wise for me to do that. To hear what my Father says on the subjects. Almost always not only do I find that I actually agree with the person, but I find "hidden" gems. Amazing.
Well, I best be going. I've got to get back to crossing off that list as long as my arm...although to tell the truth I think it's getting to be as tall as me. ;)

There's some things I'll never get my head wrapped around. I just won't ever understand. Questions which I've asked won't be answered until years later. But this I know, my God is faithful and He is just.
I can't comprehend His love, the strongest love I've ever known has been my mom. The strongest bond has been my sister's. Yet, His love and His bond to me is so much greater.
I've seen parents "fall in love" with their children. I've seen them angry. When carefully watching, I've seen their unshed tears of joy or extreme sadness. Their love for a child who is their own, a part of their self changes who they are and their lifestyle the moment the child is conceived. How much greater is My Beloved love for me?
He sent His son...HIS SON! Take a moment...imagine if you have children of whom you deeply love and offering them up for someone else sake. To turn your face away from them as they lay gasping for breath, brutally beaten, and you could do something about it.  A word, a slight movement and their suffering would have never been. Think about it.







I.can.not.even.fathom. What's more to tell the truth I wouldn't do it.  I would not give up my child for lives to be save out of my own free will. Honestly. Being completely brutally honest.

But He did. 

And that is why I am His. That is why I have a second chance, because He gave up His son's life for me. 

He loves me. 

That is enough. More than enough. 

Photographs from my web class

I've been play around with web for some time now, really getting good used out of html and css. This week we had to do three Photographs on the site picmonkey which to my surprise I enjoy for a very quick and easy touch-ups. Perfects for family photographs, but I wouldn't exactly use the site for professional work. You have to import jpgs and I prefer to do work on RAW and save them as tiffs or jpgs.

Discovering life...rediscovering me

This past weekend I went away. Very people knew where I was going. I couldn't tell. I didn't want to tell.  Goodness me, I didn't even know why I was even going in the first place. But I had to. Something inside of me was screaming. I desperately needed a get away from all people myself. But how can you escape yourself? Instead of running away, I rediscovered some things inside of me. That my friends is freedom.

Do what I did, perhaps not in the literal sense as I did, climb the forty foot pole. It'll change your life forever. I promise you that. It did mine. 

 Climbing isn't the scary part, it is learning how to stand. Once you're up, the view is indescribable and the feeling even more so. Enjoy it, savor it.  

Then jump.