Getting way

Shouldn't even be on here, but I needed some sanity. Of course I'll get some come Sunday...maybe. Like a good friend of mine, I have a list as long as my arm. And like her I have pressing deadlines, and while she and I are in different seasons her's from the perspective of a mom and mine for my own life, I suspect we most likely feel "fear" or perahps uncomfortableness might be the better word for it. Still its nice have someone sharing a somewhat similar situation as I am going through at the same. Only her wisdom is definatly much more aged than mine.
I feel as if I'm going insane and sinking with no way up. Only I know there's a way up and I've just got to hang on. For.three.very.long.weeks. Sigh. I can do this. One day at a time and lots of coffee and chocolate along with the station from Pandora of Love never fails. Seems like the more I'm in the word and studying, the more focused I've become and the more I don't know how to explain it I guess be able to keep swinging my bat even when I keep striking out.
Someone recently encouraged me and at the same time reproof me. Sadly, I can't remember who it was but I've got this funny suspision it might have been my pastor. Anyways, I was encouraged to start studying the scriptures...I mean really study it. By that I mean, read it and if God speaks to stay there, possible write down, and/or just savor it. I don't pick scriptures apart very much and that's bad. But my one fear I have discovered is when I pick apart the scriptures, will I lost sight of the big picture? In other words, major in the minors and minor in the major. I can't live with that fear. It's keeping me from delicious, sweet secretes which could have been mine long ago. Plus my God is big and faithful, should I steer away from the big picture than He'll guide me back. Teaching me what is the correct way of looking at the scriptures.
Another things is I've become more what's the word I want to use? Cautious? I don't think it's what I am trying to describe, but it'll have to do for now. I don't just take any one's word  all the time anymore, when it comes to the scriptures. More and more I'm finding I'm searching out the context myself and figure out what is being said is really true. Now, please don't mistake what I said above that I don't trust anyone. Far from it! Rather, I am learning to start searching things out for myself. I think it is wise for me to do that. To hear what my Father says on the subjects. Almost always not only do I find that I actually agree with the person, but I find "hidden" gems. Amazing.
Well, I best be going. I've got to get back to crossing off that list as long as my arm...although to tell the truth I think it's getting to be as tall as me. ;)