Live simply

Living simply is surprisingly hard to do...at first. It is a constant battle to live this way. Especially as you grow older. I hear all this TV programs and advertisement  mocking "growing old". What is wrong with that? I have found that older people are rather just "beginning" their lives. They have wisdom and grace and have more adventures than they can sometimes handle. But this isn't what this post is about, although I will write a post of adventure and you can be sure that it will be the age of 40 something and above that I will direct my attention too. Like I said, my own personal watching people has told me that life happens when someone is seasoned with age...it comes with humility and grace. 

I recently spoiled myself and brought a ring. Unfortunately it was too big for my middle finger as I later found out. I hate it when that happens, but then you have to roll with the punches and find something creative to do with the too big or too small object. But this ring means something in fact it was hanging in my car to remind me almost daily. "Live Simply"

That I think is a very important lesson to learn. There are two types of groups children and well the elderly. I direct my attention to the latter in this post. I love...I love elderly people. I love their winkles, I love the twinkle in their eyes, and I love the lessons I can learn from . I love the fact they've learned to watch the world go by and just live simply. My favorite image I have every seen has been a couple in their 80s or 90's holding hands, sitting on the bench, and just watching people go by. I love their kiss to each other and I loved their smiles.  When I grow old and my hair turns white I hope I still remember this couple. Though I only saw them for a brief period of time, they have impacted my life in way they don't know. The picture they painted was clear...Live Simply or translated it into Live Life Well.

Not to us...Not to us

To be honest, I shouldn't be on here. I *should* be doing my slideshows and really focusing on those since time is so short.  But sometimes, the most important thing is to simply reevaluate or readjust my lens as to why I am here. And I've chosen this outlet.

These days ever since Saturday night, a heavy...heavy weariness has completely taken over my body. Step by step literally every day I take with a sob on my lips "God give me Your strength."  For the first time last night before night duty, I could do nothing but lay on my bed too exhausted to close my eyes or even cry.  I felt sick.

Some might say... the honeymoon is over. Yet, from the beginning this has been no honeymoon...not even close. I never expected it to be. Except in one way.

God gave me this word at the beginning of this year. "I am going to romance you and we're going to grow close together." He has kept His Word. Never, once has He told me it would be easy. But He has tenderly taught me and tenderly held me. Even now in my exhuastedness and stripped bare, He is moving within me. I know although I can hardly feel him.

I choose to move. I choose to hold my head up high. I choose over my own feelings, over my own bodily strength, over my own limitations to rise up with a smile and love people and do what I can to serve. It.Is.Hard.  But worth it.

Lately, I've had to shove down the irritations of people thinking all I do is walk around and take photos. It is so frustrating and IF I allow it Satan could have my lunch. The second irritations is persuading people to let me take their photographs, I've gotten to the point of my flesh getting ready to say...fine. Then I won't and you won't be shown in the presentation. I am so sorry you think so little of yourself that you don't think you're worthy to be photograph.  Indeed he has tempted me sorely. While that may be true, it isn't necessary and it isn't kind. Thank God that He has held my tongue up until now. And I have debated whether or not to keep this paragraph.  It is hard to keep it, and I want so very much to delete it. But for some reason I can't seem to.

One of the hardest lessons I have learned here is not to compare my work ethics to others. My work is different than others, but the reasoning behind the work is the same. We're here because God called us to love and to serve no matter what our jobs are. If I do what God tells me to do...no less....AND no more...than I am obedient. What? You say. No more? Yes...no more. God has placed specific jobs with specific amount of time span and specific energy. If I get in the way then I am in a sense competing for glory. It is for His glory...not for my own.

When He spoke to me in which He also had me speak and pray yesterday in the sharing time, He gave me scriptures. Pay close attention to them. I think you'll find a running theme.

Psalm 121

I will life up my eyes to the mountains
From where shall my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
Who made the heaven and earth.
He will not allow your foot to slip;
He who keeps you will not slumber,
Behold, He who keeps Israel
Will neither slumber nor Sleep

The Lord is your keep;
The Lord is your shade on your right hand.
The sun will not smite you by day
nor the moon by night
The Lord will protect you from all evil
He will keep your soul.
The Lord will guard your going out and your coming in
From this time forth and forever

Psalm 116: 1-7

I love the Lord, because He hears
My voice and my supplications
Because He has inclined His ear to me.
Therefore I shall call upon Him as long as I live
The cords of death encompassed me
and the terrors of Shoal came upon me;
I found distress and sorrow.
Then I called upon the name of the Lord;
"O lord, I beseech You, save my life!"

Gracious is the Lord, and righteous;
Yes, our God is compassionate
The Lord preserves the simple;
I was brought low; and He saved me.
Return to your rest, O my soul
For the Lord has dealt bountifully with you.

Psalms 115

Not to us O Lord, Not to us
but to your name be the glory
because of your lovingkindness, because of your truth.


Let me highlight  that last scripture. Not to us...Not to us. But to His name be the glory. His name be the glory forever more, Amen.

My heart...My soul

How does a girl work on her business when working on a mission field? How does a girl keep her own education up in photography? How does a girl raise money for her next education in her second degree in cosmology when she's literally not working a "real" job? How does a girl keep clean when she is worked to the bone from 6 in the A.M to 12 in the P.M. Most importantly of all...how on earth does a girl LOSE her phone! The only thing next to God personally waking her up that will get her up on time...nearly without fail. Perhaps the most important question should be asked...why is she speaking in the third person...


I have zero idea. Perhaps it is because I am thriving on a mere five hour of sleep or if you prefer 35 hours of sleep this week alone. That's roughly 6 hours of sleep each night.  I'd take a nap, but my body is too over worked for that. I laugh...it is nearly the only thing that is keeping me sane at this moment. It is either that or cry...and I'm in a roomful of boys at the moment. I'd prefer to keep my pride...what's left of it.

Here's a thing.  I came here to serve...to Doe River that is. To serve as God sees fit. Boy...you give Him the reigns and He'll really take you off. Every time I've wanted to say no or wanted to complain...I've remembered. I haven't come here for comforts, and I most certainly didn't come here to be served. I have given him my heart a long, long time ago...meaning my comfort zone went out the window eons ago or so it seems.


One of the things I never expected is the constant questions of my hearing. The constant question of what is it like. Frankly, after the forth week I have gotten a little annoyed. I couldn't seem to wrap my mind around the fact that this IS normal to me, but it isn't to others. For whatever reasons, God knows why I didn't think my challenges were anything to be proud of. I've simply lived. He is my hearing, He is my breathing, He is my spine, He is my mouth. In short He is my everything. I can't seem to wrap my mind around how anyone can not not be in love with Him. It is life to me. But then He gently reminds me...not everyone has lived the life I have. Not everyone understands what it means to rely in and on Him in the precise way that I do. Here, I've looked out every morning. Every morning to see the mountains...to see the people He's created. How can I have learned to love in such a short amount of time this people here? How can I leave...knowing I'll not come back? Perhaps for a visit...but not to work here again. How can I leave the friends I've made...perhaps for life. By God's grace.

He gives and He takes away. The rhythmic beating of that song pounds within my heart.  A mere 5 weeks remains. I don't want to leave. Because I know some of these friends I may never ever see again.  My heart hurts. But I'll survive. He gives and He takes away. After all the four girls my age, did He not provide me...over the 11 years of being at my church. He took them away only to provide some time later after a season of crying my heart out simply out of the aching loneliness of having no girls to relate to. I've learned to let people go...it isn't easy. It'll be a life lesson I'll have to learn over and over. But every time a friend leaves, the truest friend is always, always there.


My God is for me. My God is Here. My God is My God. To Him I'll run, to Him I'll cry, to Him I'll laugh, and to Him I'll dance, to Him I'll give my body, to Him I'll give my soul, and to Him I'll give my heart.