Heavy seasons and thankfulness

I didn't anticipate this feeling so soon. Not now, not like this. You see I received news. It's good news...frightening news. News, I unfortunately can not reveal. But it has made my heart heavy. Freedom Feet has become an intricrant part of my life. There's Harvest family...and there's freedom feet family. We're kind like the 12 disciples. There's a bond between us that will always remain even as we part ways. Part ways. The time is coming for that time and that is why my heart is heavy.
My brothers have always joked when my "one" comes, he had better watched out. I've got seven brother's squarely behind me. The thing is...it isn't a joke...they're dead serious. They've bickered back and forth of who was the brother first. Enough to make my head turn, or any girl's for that matter.
How often can a girl say WITH pride I have seven brothers and they are one of the most amazing group of  people you will ever meet? I love each one of them dearly and with sisterly affection. God has placed us in such way in such a time as this. It's important. We fight together, occasionally fight with each together ( can't leave out the sibling quarrels), and we are ALWAYS welcoming new comers.
That's the thing with us. Even if we are exceedingly close, we don't have our names written on each other. We can't...the only names that on us is God's and our own names. We are always seeking to find new adventures, meet new people, welcome them if they choose into our group, but there will always remain that tight bond between us.
This is the last year that we'll be together like this. Two of my youngest brothers leave for college, one for military, and the others going to take on the calling God's given them. There'll be a handful of us left, but it won't be the same. Which is why this Christmas, our last play together like this at Harvest, we're going out with a bang. If you attend, I promise you...you won't know what hit you. Your wildest dreams can't fathom this...not us plain ordinary people who have hidden talents that is finally beginning to be revealed. I can assure you, I'll be crying at the end of it all. They deserve to be applauded by me. It is because of them that I have deeply changed. They have taught me, lectured me, scolded me, wiped my tears, and teased me without mercy. Boys...aren't always mature even them, they go through season don't we all? But their heart is beautiful and that is what matters.
They (themselves) have appointed me as their big sister as I am the eldest of them all. I carry that title with no light burden. How I talk and act, I know they are watching. I also know they guard me with passion (whip me back in line) in loving kindness because that is what we do. They are the reasons I treat men with respect and expect men to treat me with the same respect. It was a semi-long battle, but the boys have taught me...that men should ALWAYS open the door for a lady, it is a sign that they love and respect you. Heavy object, stuff down my pride and allow the boys to carry. They helped trained me to act, speak, and look like a lady. Indeed....I am filled with pride of my boys and I feel as if  I have right to call them that. I do truly see them as my brothers. I am a blessed woman. Which is why I write on this thanksgiving day of how thankful I am for them.

It has taken five plus years for this group to be this way. We have seen each others ugly and beautiful sides and we love each other anyways. With Christ as our foundation, this is why we are unique because we truly do love each other...just like harvest. But we're a sending church. We're going to be sending out some mighty fine young men. Oh, how I'll miss them.

Worship

Worship, I've come to a conclusion is a choice. Worship is where you consciously make an effort to spend time with God to know Him for Him and lavish praises on Him. Recently I spoke a word at church. God was speaking to me because I was struggling with worshiping. I was exhausted with always fighting to worship God. To enter that place of rest. Usually by the time I've started to enter, I have been distracted or worship ends. I was fed up and exhausted. My heart begged to be into that place again. I hadn't intended to speak, I didn't want to speak in church. But my mouth opened and words flow out of my mouth. By the time I was finished I could only remember the last sentence, "It is your choice" It pierced me and shed light upon the subject matter of which I was struggling with.

When I spoke of this to Kate of my feelings. She was quiet for a moment and then spoke. "Have you ever thought that worship isn't always about feelings?" I agreed. But still my heart yearned for some kind of oneness, some kind of a sign. But her words spoke into me. It was then it struck me. When God through me in such way that my speech is clear and concise I am worshiping. That is almost the only time when I do not struggle with my speech, it's like He takes me and puts the words in my mouth.

I can't help being distracted by things. But what I can help is my actions and attitude. 

If you do not mind I would like to share something with you  about this same topic when I was 18. I think it fits. 

 Worship isn't an act, nor should it be taken lightly. It's not about singing, or dancing. Nor is worship is about how well the worship team plays. What's it about then? God. It's all about God, you don't have to sing to worship, nor do you have to dance, or play an instrument. If that was the case, how would a lame man worship in dancing, a deaf person play a instrument.. .(discounting Beethoven who went death in his later years!), or a mute person sing out loud. Worship is a matter of the heart. What you give back and how you give. I love how Matthew puts this "Worship is a lifestyle... not just an action," and what Justin added."What follows from a worship experience or an experience

at an altar is what matters, and what follows is a lifestyle." I never though much about on how worship "should" be done...I just worship and imagine what it would be like to in my Dad's court or just be in the same room with him.

Matthew wrote this before me and I couldn't help, but put this on here.

It sort of goes along with what Pastor Tim said about drive-thru altars today (or, as I dubbed them, McAltars). Some people see worship the same way; a set of motion that, when carried out, result in an emotional experience. Worship is a lifestyle, not just an action. Sure, it has actions associated with it, but those are just manifestations of a worshipper's heart. God doesn't want McWorship! Or McAltars! :D

A taste of behind the scenes

I thought you might like to know some of the questions that I answer for my business. If I can not answer each and every question, I might as well not have a business. Mind you please, these are not all the questions. There are still more questions to be answered and to be put into practice.

Identify 3 specialty areas you would like to target

Identify your clients

What specific skills do I have in those areas?

Will I need addition Training or education?

What additional equipment will I need?

What services will my clients need?

Who is my competition?

How will my services be different?

Is my geographical location favorable to my business?

Why does my company exist?

Who do we serve?

What is our purpose?

What is my strength weakness opportunity and...threat?

Considering above along with our expertise and resources, what business should we be in?

What is important to us?

What do we stand for?

Please note: Almost all of these questions come from books. As soon as I can get to the library again, I'll reference them.

Home-office

Lately, I have been dreaming of my own home. How would I decorate it when I do leave home. I know it can not be too far off...two years at the most I give it. But certainly not next year. It is not in my position to do so with beauty school raising its cost. Despite that, I thought I'd share some of my dreams.

I want a library...full of old books or just books in general that I love. Here and there some "new" books. But I have old fashion values...most of the books that "new" don't adhere to my sense of adventures or of learning.  I couldn't find a photograph of my 'bookshelves' for public use, so I'm going to describe it to you.  Bookshelves from floor to ceiling with an old fashion ladder with wheels. You can slide back and forth to get the books. I know not practical for when I'm in my seventies. But I do plan on being a very healthy 50 and 60 woman...I've got great genes.  By then I'll just get on a lift and get my books that way. The book shelves are simply elegant. Cherry wood...preferably.

Since I'll probably be poor as a church mouse, I'll settle with screwing two inexpensive books shelves on top of each other and into the wall. I know how to use an electric screwdriver. Get a simple wooded step stool put felt underneath since hopefully I'll have wooded floors.

In between my book shelves I'll have my window seat. I'll get an inexpensive chest and stain it, make a cover probably a hunter green or sage color depending on the wood color, throw in some pillows, and hang up my curtains. This window seat is not to be small, but large enough for a person to comfortable take a nap on.

Now keeping mind that my house most likely won't be very big. I'll most likely make that room my office/library. No way it is going to be my bedroom. Bedrooms are designed for rest...not work.

I have this love for chalkboard. Although I love the idea for a chalkboard wall...I will probably settle for a bulletin board/ white board. My desk  long and rectangular. Similar to this:

A good sturdy desk. If I had the money, I'd get something like this. I love the classic, simply lines. Straight ford stuff. But I'd ditch the chairs for a comfy arm chair with pattern. Hey it is an office that I'll be working in and possibly entertain clients. It has to comfortable. Underneath the desk, I'll have a rug to give the room a pop of color to the neutral colored walls.
Now I know that landlines are going out of business, but for my office I plan on having a landline. To better serve my clients, I don't want them having access to me at all times. That is why I will have an office.

I would love to have a phone like this. It might not be pratical. But I love it. I think it would add a cozy feel it to. But regardless whether or not have I have phone like this, I will have a corded phone and possible a non corded phone. 

I'll have a coffee table, for when guest comes there'll be a variety of things for them to snack on as we do consultation. And an area for children to play in as we talk . 

Above all things, I want my printers, scanners, fax machines and all my extras to look neat. I'll probably get a dresser with drawers to hide my extras, and my machines on top with a few things to brighten the area.  I don't know how it will pull together, but it is my hope that my office/ library will be a place to truly work. The window seat would be perfect for me to relax as I read business books or for children to cuddle up and play games.  

I've run out time. So I'll tell you my places for kitchen and other places later. But next time I'll just post pictures if I can. You'll get the idea yourself. 

Rambling....

After so many post of my doings in Netherlands, I'm post a last post of traveling. However, this is one not of of Netherlands, but rather of something different. This summer I had a chance...a very good chance to go to Italy. I turned it down. God said no. Someday I want to, but the timing isn't right.

Besides CCSA- college, carreer, and single adult  age group might be in the dreaming stage of planning big. Not a word can I tell you, because it is simply in the dreaming stage, plus Kate hasn't talk anymore of the dreams with us. But I can tell you this. We're hungry and we are jumping at the bits to take the gospel to the streets. But we have to finished some things and understand the main points of the gospel ourselves.

Until such a time, we'll be finishing up Freed by Divine Degree. I'm so looking foreword to that tomorrow. It is the only place I get my "class" outside of sunday mornings. I wish I could get more. Maybe next semester will work better for me in attending other meetings.

In the meantime is this fall season divine? Mmmmm. I wish I could go hiking. Every time I set out to do something it gets spoiled. I need to get a friend with me so I can go. Course I'll take photographs along the way. How can I possible not? Hah. Breathe in my friend though this might be a hectic season. Fall never stays long.