A difficult and yet glorious season

You know what I long for? Intensely long for? To make a difference and to see that I make a difference. When I am at college, I see and I hear conversations around me. For some strange reason a clear glass has been place in front of me and no matter how I've pounded nor how much, it seems to make no dent. By which I mean, I seem to stand alone especially as conversations are hard for me to make. I am not what I am at school as I am at home. My parents can't shut me up. I dance, I glide, I sing, and I chatter to anyone and everyone who would listen. But when I at school, I'm quiet and reserved. A few sentence are spoke and I'm the quiet one in the group. I listen to the chattering truly interested. When statements are made of which I am not in favor of, I make no inclinations of protest. That isn't me, I stand for what I believe and I act out what I speak of my beliefs.
Quite and reserved that is me and yet it isn't. I have my moments...but for those who truly know me...I'm not that most of the time. I don't care so much of always being outgoing. No...that doesn't matter. What matters to me is am I making a difference for Christ? How can I when I am so quiet? Yet. Can not even a deaf person share the word of God although he speaks no words? Can not a blind person point you to Christ although he can only see the world in textures and shapes? Can not a lame person help you have a personal walking relationship with Jesus although he himself can not walk? Can they not?
There are people who change the world in a massive way. Who go away and come back telling stories of people they've led to Christ and what they've done for Him. Here I am at college, working, making friends slowly, teaching children, becoming a houselady, ( I am not yet a wife, therefore I can not say housewife), listening and chattering to my friends, and doing small things.
Yet, I recollect. His timing and His purposes causes all things work together. I am where He has place me at the exact time doing what He wants. Just as the others are obeying him so am I.
 We as the body of Christ have different roles that we must choose whether or not to pick up and carry no matter what the task. And we can not fulfill those roles without each other. We need each other to step up, to step back, to listen, to talk, to carry, to admonish, to encourage...the list goes on. The point is, we, the body of Christ, have got to look to Jesus and not do what I started to do in the beginning of this post, compare ourselves to each other. We matter separately, and together, can't have one without the other.
Perhaps this is the season of training. To listen and to learn. Allow others to step up and take the lead while I follow. Someone once said, " A good leader is one who can follow humbly." I am trying to be to a humble follower and Lord know it isn't easy, but He's helping me.

Sometimes you need to wade through it

Life isn't easy sometimes and sometimes you just want to complain. One of the hardest things I had to do was NOT complain...a feat I did not accomplished. However, my complaining was only to my family who knew what was going on at least. But still, this week has been one of the hhhhhaaarrrrdest to go through, and I have no earthly reason why it was so. At least it gave me food for thought. This week especially from  encouragement from my pastor's message I'm going to keep my mouth shut, at least try my best to stay positive. Go to my number one source and if I need encouragement afterwards have someone keep me in their thoughts. There is some rejoicing whenever trials come and this trial has nothing on me compared to the past or what some people are going through right now.
 Sometimes though it does one good to step back and take a true rest. Find something that fills you up and then tackle whatever object(s) that is needed to be done. Having heard "don't complain" which is very good council, there is such a thing of hold far too much inside of you. Sometimes you need to "complain" for lack of a better word to get the correct perspective of what is going on. But there is a far cry from complaining and being dissatisfied all the time verses being unhappy and trying to figure out what is wrong so you can get your heart right. If there is something truly wrong and after going to your number one source, Jesus Christ, and afterwards if need be go to someone who is wise and knowledgable that is going to be able to help you is key. Else you are going to be stuck in that place perhaps a great deal longer than just dealing with the problem itself.
Honestly, I don't know how this post got started on this topic. It wasn't suppose to be this serious. But it was something on my heart.

Guitar

Forgive me for posting twice...but I had to share what I am teaching myself on the guitar next. Indeed I am already learning it.  The song is called Cripple Creek. My version of the song is way slower, but still that hoping tune. Hope you enjoy.

Last night's party

Oh! My friends. Last night was da bomb! Friends of friends of friends and of friends gather 'round volleyball courts, tossed around the Frisbee, and just enjoyed each other's company. Music rang out from the old piano filling the home with glad noise. Some of these people are gifted. We had over 20 people in our home last night. What fun! It was great seeing and meeting people that we hadn't seen in ages and to get to know new faces. It was wonderful. I hope that this is a first of many. Already plans are being laid for something further in the fall. 
This group of people have a lot to offer. I was honored to be in their presence especially the ones that like us reached out to the other side and took time to know us beyond our names. I'm ready for another low key volleyball match and hopefully it will be much better next next time. By that meaning I actually get the ball more over the net instead of with much power hitting that ball over my head to the backyard. Who know I process such a strength. ;)
I would happily do this again. These people are dear and I hope to get to know them much more. That and they didn't leave too big of a scattered mess. It was collected mess which was so much easier to clean up. Bless them for that. What more stories will we create together? Only time will tell. But I think it will be safe to say that good bonds outside of both groups will form a strong friendship.

The flooded studio and happy gathering

Okay so I don't often feel this way, but well I was happy to discover that Still life was meeting upstairs in the bagwell meeting in the "meeting" room which is where I think all the important or most of it happens. However, I felt awful (and slightly humored) for my professor. You see the studio flooded. Which in of itself is a pretty bad thing and I wished for all of our sakes it hadn't happened. But here's the thing. We have now a saying in my  home, quite literately as it is imprinted on our wall. It says " The fondest memories are made when gathered around the table," Well it was exactly just that. Something clicks when people are gathered around the table...that and along with eating with each other.  I think we grew closer as a group because we  all had to be much closer and see all of each other's lovely faces. We talked and for my part I felt we had more than just a camera in our hands for common ground. Gasp...we actually all talked! It was wonderful. I hope the flooding in the studio doesn't happen again especially for my professor's sake who also happens to be the head of the department. However I SURE wouldn't mind the gathering 'round the table again. :). Who knows just maybe it will.

Small building

I love small projects. But even small projects can go awry. Fortunately, Dad loves working these types of things. He brought himself a router table and when his router didn't work...you got brought himself another router. Mom is rubbing her hands and dreaming of "small" projects for dad to do. Sigh contently.   I helped dad in the beginning a lot and little in the middle. Towards the end...school had begun to start. Just because of the router complication, this baby took over a month to complete. But in the end it was completely worth it. My guess is that we could have finished this within two or three days give or take. We are not master craftsmen you know. But we can slice along. Grin. Without any further ado here below is the finale of the plate rack.

Poetry and rainy days

Drizzling rain coming softly from the cloudy skies from above. Classical music playing in the back ground and my family laughing. If I was not doing school at this precise moment, I would be curled up reading 'MacBeth' or crocheting. Surprising right...the choice of book, not the crocheting. For those who know me, I hate tragedies. Shakespeare has captured my attention with his wit of writing. Not sure how long I can keep on going, but oh my. That style and grace! Unknown words that takes time to understand makes my heart soar with happiness. I believe I have a love for poetry.

Robert Steven Lois author of Treasure Island has arrested my attention as well. I cannot wait to finish reading to grab ahold of more treasure. Lately, I finished ¨Truth is Beauty.¨ A book of wondrous poetry give by Sheila to Mom on Kate's first week to Lee.  Please let me excerpt a poem, only a little part. Dover Beach 

Ah, love, let us be true
To one another! for the world, which seems
To lie before us like a land of dreams,
So various, so beautiful, so new,
Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light,
Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain;
And we are here as on a darkling plain
Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,
Where ignorant armies clash by night.

                                                                                         Matthew Arnold   

Perhaps now that I am older (and hopefully wiser) the domain of Shelley, Keats, Byron, Wordworth and so many other legendary writers will shed light to my world in which strives to write and read well. 

      

Playing dogs

I have had a delightful mornings. For two weeks I've resolved to start walking in the mornings starting in the neighborhood of seven time frame.  I hadn't decided how many times, but figured the morning air would do me wonders. Keegan would company me. Almost every morning I've managed to get up at seven but not walking. So this morning I was determined to walk. I got Keegan ready to go, then Sasha came bounding up. Such a hopeful and begging expression she wore. I could not help but put the leash also on her. Since she ran away over a month ago, we have been trying to treat her a little more gently since she was really starting to show her age. But oh, today you would've thought she was 5 or 6 years. 

I was much more focus on training Keegan since he loves to "talk" and I can not have him talking in the mornings when  everyone is sleeping. Trust me you can hear that dog outside of the house, especially if he is on the sleeping porch. But anyways, I decided to introduce him a new word, quiet. Hopefully, he'll understand I don't mind him being excited, but he's got to be quiet when told. Took me a half hour just to get them both down the drive way simply for the fact that along with trying to teach Keegan a new word, I will also working with both dogs to stay on my left side. Sasha was a gem. Keegan...dominated dog kept pushing her over, course she shoved back (good girl). 

By the time I got the dogs down to the picnic area, mom was driving down the driveway. As trained, I had the dogs sit and wait for the car to pass. Then went down the pond area, just letting them be. They loved it. Sasha by the point was getting playful, so I left her off the leash in the picnic area and tried to work with Keegan. No such luck! Grin. I let Keegan off of his leash and told him to go play. Oh! My friends, it was a wonderful sight to see my dogs really play. Sasha in particular. The way she bounded and leaped. I swear she did a three eighty in the air. She growled and barked cocking her brown head at me. Her eyes beckon me to come play. So I did. Whistling, and growling I played with her like of old and revived the memories how we'd play before she got sick. It did my heart good to see her so and I know it did hers bountiful good as well.