A difficult and yet glorious season

You know what I long for? Intensely long for? To make a difference and to see that I make a difference. When I am at college, I see and I hear conversations around me. For some strange reason a clear glass has been place in front of me and no matter how I've pounded nor how much, it seems to make no dent. By which I mean, I seem to stand alone especially as conversations are hard for me to make. I am not what I am at school as I am at home. My parents can't shut me up. I dance, I glide, I sing, and I chatter to anyone and everyone who would listen. But when I at school, I'm quiet and reserved. A few sentence are spoke and I'm the quiet one in the group. I listen to the chattering truly interested. When statements are made of which I am not in favor of, I make no inclinations of protest. That isn't me, I stand for what I believe and I act out what I speak of my beliefs.
Quite and reserved that is me and yet it isn't. I have my moments...but for those who truly know me...I'm not that most of the time. I don't care so much of always being outgoing. No...that doesn't matter. What matters to me is am I making a difference for Christ? How can I when I am so quiet? Yet. Can not even a deaf person share the word of God although he speaks no words? Can not a blind person point you to Christ although he can only see the world in textures and shapes? Can not a lame person help you have a personal walking relationship with Jesus although he himself can not walk? Can they not?
There are people who change the world in a massive way. Who go away and come back telling stories of people they've led to Christ and what they've done for Him. Here I am at college, working, making friends slowly, teaching children, becoming a houselady, ( I am not yet a wife, therefore I can not say housewife), listening and chattering to my friends, and doing small things.
Yet, I recollect. His timing and His purposes causes all things work together. I am where He has place me at the exact time doing what He wants. Just as the others are obeying him so am I.
 We as the body of Christ have different roles that we must choose whether or not to pick up and carry no matter what the task. And we can not fulfill those roles without each other. We need each other to step up, to step back, to listen, to talk, to carry, to admonish, to encourage...the list goes on. The point is, we, the body of Christ, have got to look to Jesus and not do what I started to do in the beginning of this post, compare ourselves to each other. We matter separately, and together, can't have one without the other.
Perhaps this is the season of training. To listen and to learn. Allow others to step up and take the lead while I follow. Someone once said, " A good leader is one who can follow humbly." I am trying to be to a humble follower and Lord know it isn't easy, but He's helping me.