Encouraging others

Surprising enough this has become a hard subject for me, I have gotten more and more confuse in these last two years. When I was younger, I rarely thought ill of anyone. I just loved people mistakes and all. Now that I am older I find myself in a harddriven world that expects either for you to fall flat on your face or do the impossible...that tear you apart and critized you. I have learned it the hard way, and it breaks my heart. Why can't people just love one anotoher and encouarge one another. One more question when IS the right time to (loving) rebuke and how can you lovingly encourage someone while rebuking them at the same time? I guess that was two questions. But never the less. These questions are important to me. How do you apply grace to someone who may or may not know they're doing wrong? I know rebuking when it is needed is right. I know I sometimes need a "spanking" when I do, I rather have it then ruin myself and fall into disgrace. Yet, there a lot of times I need a whole lotta grace.  There two things in play, one is what does God say and the other is what is your heart motive. Cause if I am all about the gotta look good on the outside, but fail to look on the insde, boy hope I pad my britches and high tail it out. Because I am no better off then the person in sin...come to think of it, I would be sinning. I can't eat my cake on a high horse. Translation: don't play the high and mighty card and expect to be granted the "good job trophy". No, no, no.
But if I listen to God and ask Him to clearly define what and when I should do something and truly care about the heart of the person, I say it'll be just fine. You know why? Cause He's doing all the work and He's gonna make it right...might take his sweet time, but in the end it'll be JUUUUUSSSTTT perfect. Then I get to eat my cake and enjoy it immensely.